The Boy Who Spoke Too Much

Taylor’s Talent Show - One more month Left!

So… One more month remaining until the big day! It kinda feels strange really.. Almost yesterday I was there, standing among other hopefuls and now -  here it is. :O

Rehearsals are intense. I won’t brag and say that our act is perfect, but… wow. Seriously. Wow. I’ll cut the chatter and just leave the photos during rehearsals for you to decide on. 

Tata,

theboywhospoketoomuch. 


Read this and Decide.

 
It must be stopped. We have to stop this madness. This KONY 2012 campaign is spreading like wildfire and no one is taking a step back to evaluate the situation. People jump onto the bandwagon and let that bandwagon decide for themselves. Do you have any idea who the Invisible Children charity are? Do you know anything about Joseph Kony? In this blog post I will provide for you another point of view and hopefully systematically argue my case for why KONY 2012 is not a good thing. All I ask you to do is keep an open mind and listen to a perspective that is not trodden on usually.

The aim

My job here is to present to you FACTS and FIGURES that will show you a new perspective into the whole KONY 2012 campaign. I will present to you an argument, followed by a fact and usually a citation from a  reliable source. This is all arranged into an easy bite-sized chunk.

#1 - invisible Children Inc    

Picture
The organization behind it all. The filmmakers and main driving force behind the event. Let’s proceed to break it down. A small amount of research can easily reveal just the surface of the corruption that occurs in the Invisible Children Inc charity organization. So here are the facts that make this organization dodgy:

1) The “charity” organization has refused all request to be examined and evaluated as a charity organization. They have declined the Better Business Bureau numerous requests to examine their facilities and functional system. What kind of legitimate charity organization refuses to get audited? The incentive of reliability and therefore potential support is enough for ANY legitimate charity to want to be audited. The only reason why you would refuse dozens of requests to be evaluated is because you are HIDING something. Do you think the Red Cross denies all their evaluators? Of course not, use some common sense.

2) If we look at the salary of the Charity CEO’s, one finds some shocking numbers!

Let’s take a Charity like WorldTeach. My folks know the charity well, and they donate frequently to the organization. A quick look at Charity Navigator shows that the only salary of note is of the CEO’s and it is $41,846. Not bad right?

Now, contrast this with Invisible Children’s salaries of notability:

$88,241 - Ben Keesey Chief Executive Officer

The salary is DOUBLED of what WorldTeach is, not only that, it’s about to get a much more terrible. The Invisible Children’s Charity not only pays the CEO $88,000, there are also two other “co-founders” that get paid just as much:

$89,669 - Jason Russell Co-Founder - Filmmaker 
$84,377 - Laren Poole Co-Founder -Filmmaker

So this adds us to a total of $262,287! That’s right. The notable salaries of Invisible Children amount to a QUARTER OF A MILLION split between three greedy individuals. Compare this with WorldTeach. WorldTeach not only has only 1 notable salary on the charity list, but it is a mere 41,846 dollars. The notable salary expenditure of Invisible Children is 400% more, at a whopping, $262,287 US dollars.

Lastly, here is a direct quote from the Visible Children blog:

Invisible Children has been condemned time and time again. As a registered not-for-profit, its finances are public. Last year, the organization spent $8,676,614. Only 32% went to direct services (page 6), with much of the rest going to staff salaries, travel and transport, and film production. This is far from ideal, and Charity Navigator rates their accountability 2/4 stars because they haven’t had their finances externally audited. But it goes way deeper than that. 

Source:
http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=12429   

#2 We’re fighting in uganda?

The official statement of Invisible Children as a charity is as follows:

invisible children is a movement seeking to end the conflict in Uganda and stop the abduction of children for use as child soldiers.”

There’s a problem. According to Wikipedia, the LRA disbanded in Uganda in 2006. While they have done some slight expansion into Central Africa, logistically and infrastructural-wise, at least 90% of Invisible Children’s operations happen in Uganda. It is logistically impossible for someone so entrenched in Uganda to be a main flag-carrier for a terrorist campaign that is down in SOUTH SUDAN. Invisible Children is a Uganda based organization and since they have been rid of Joseph Kony in Uganda for 7 years now, what are they still doing campaigning something that is not their problem? The essence of it lies in incentives (thank you Freakonomics). And that is money. 

Source: 
http://ilto.wordpress.com/2006/11/02/the-visible-problem-with-invisible-children/

#3 Fighting violence with violence

Invisible Children’s main organization is aimed at military engagement and intervention of Joseph Kony’s army. The thousands of people who are campaigning for Kony’s PROSECUTION have no idea what consequences might follow their actions. The key word here is PROSECUTION. Prosecution of Joseph Kony means DIRECT MILITARY ENGAGEMENT.
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Above is an ACTUAL photo from Grant Oyston showing the Filmmakers of and members of the KONY 2012 movement and hence the Invisible Children movement posting with AK-47’s and RPG’s. Yes, everybody, this is your beloved organization. Close your eyes right no-, wait then you won’t be able to read this. OKAY, CLOSE ONE EYE right now and imagine the millions of lives that will be lost in a direct confrontation against Kony’s army. Imagine the bloodshed. This is what you are campaigning for. Like I said before, the only way to prosecute Kony is through military intervention. Is this what you really want?

I will end this point by appealing to common sense. Obama sent 100 specialized troops to attempt to deal with the Joseph Kony uprising. And you know what were their orders? They were NOT allowed to engage in direct combat. If you don’t wan to believe me, believe the president of the United States. The US could storm in right this moment and take Kony along with a couple of tens of millions of lives of innocent children. But they don’t. You know why? Because they know better, and you should to. Is this really what you’re supporting?

#4 What are you saving the people from?

It’s easy for you to point fingers from the perspective of a rich middle-class person, but when it comes down to it. When it comes down to the very essence of it, what are you saving the people from? Joseph Kony is a monster, but do you know WHAT the alternatives are? There’s a reason why so many people have joined Kony and named him a visionary. Do you want to know the reason?

The alternative to Kony, living under the corrupt South Sudan government is even worse.

I would like to use the powers of History to help me out on this one. Hitler and the Weimar; why was Hitler so successful? Because things were even worse at the time. Things were bad, people were killing themselves and the great depression happened. Hence, the people got tired of living in that eternal state of misery and looked towards a new leader, and that was Hitler. Another example, Mao and the rural villagers; Mao came to prominence because life in China under the 國民黨 was so incredibly terrible that people were desperate for ANYTHING. The peasants were being exploited and Mao gained popularity because of how messed up the situation is. The main theme here is that crazy revolutionaries like Mao, Kony, Hitler only get popular because the state that the people were living in prior to the revolutionary’s prominence is just as unfavorable.

Do you realize how downtrodden places like South Sudan have to be in order for the people to be desperate enough to turn to Kony? You have no idea. You have no idea how weak the economy is, you have no idea how corrupt the Government is, and you have no idea how much pillaging and looting the other organizations do as well. Kony is not the only one. If Kony was prosecuted and the South Sudanese government would be held responsible for the direct management of Kony’s remaining army. Let me now, present to you, how decentralized South Sudan is and hopefully you will realize you are not saving these people from ANYTHING.

1) South Sudan has the HIGHEST maternal mortality rate at 2,053.9 per 100,000 live births.
2) Infant mortality rate is 135.3 per 1,000. So many babies die in the area that I don’t even think Kony could out-kill the infant deaths. IF Kony gets prosecuted, the THREE (yes there are only three, 500,000 per 1 doctor and a handful of surgeons) hospitals in South Sudan will find themselves even more overwhelmed and MANY, MANY MORE BABIES WILL DIE AS A RESULT.
3) Are you naive enough to believe that Kony is the only one killing? South Sudan for example, have problems that make Kony look like an insect. Tribal Killings this January in South Sudan document 120,000 deaths in one month. I don’t think even Joseph Kony could come close to a tenth of that amount.

Source: 
www.southernsudanmedicaljournal.com/assets/files/misc/SHHS.pdf 

#5 - think

What I’m trying to say is that the people joined Kony for a reason. While I agree he is a monster, the underlying problems of nations like South Sudan show that the fickle and corrupt government is nowhere NEAR ready to handle a conflict as big as the prosecution of Joseph Kony. It pains me to say that I do not doubt that South Sudan will cease to exist if a military engagement the size that the Invisible Children are planning.

I am not saying that Kony is not an evil being, I am saying that the remedy that this “charity” claims is not only harmful, but it could potential be extremely virulent towards the stability of the African continent. For people who do not believe that this movement is more harm than good, I have one word for you. - HISTORY. I will now NUMEROUS examples of how INCREASE OPPOSITION, especially military intervention like the “charity” is planning acts as a catalyst towards the explosive popularity and success of a revolutionary (Shout out to the wonderful YONG JUN for helping me pick these historical events):

1) ENGLISH CIVIL WAR:
SCHOLARLY ARTICLE: Sharp, David (2000), England in crisis 1640–60, Oxford: Heinneman
GENERAL ARTICLE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_Civil_War

2) FRENCH REVO:
 SCHOLARLY ARTICLE: Donald Greer, The Incidence of the Terror during the French Revolution: A Statistical Interpretation (1935).       
GENERAL ARTICLE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_Revolution

3) RUSSIAN REVO:
 SCHOLARLY ARTICLE: Acton, Edward, Vladimir Cherniaev, and William G. Rosenberg, eds. A Critical Companion to the Russian Revolution, 1914–1921 (Bloomington, 1997).       
GENERAL ARTICLE: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_Revolution

4) INDONESIA-MALAYSIA:
SCHOLARLY ARTICLE: Conboy, Ken. 2003. ‘’Kompassus – Inside Indonesia’s Special Forces’’. Jakarta: Equinox Publishing.
GENERAL ARTICLE: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indonesia–Malaysia_confrontation

5)  CHINESE CIVIL WAR:
SCHOLARLY ARTICLE: Schoppa, R. Keith. [2000] (2000). The Columbia Guide to Modern Chinese History. Columbia University Press. ISBN 0231112769.   
GENERAL ARTICLE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_Civil_War

TO EVERYONE WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH ME CITING WIKIPEDIA:

Every Wikipedia article I linked is full of citations from scholarly BOOKS. For example, the article on the English Civil War has AT LEAST 300 citations to university and phd texts as evident in the citation. There is the conception that Wikipedia is unreliable, however that is only when there are no citations within the article. When the article is heavily cited as evident in ALL of my Wikipedia links, Wikipedia is one of the most reliable sources you can use as it provides a compendium of all scholarly articles into one concise article. I do understand that Wikipedia citations are somewhat unorthodox, but if you took even a second before criticizing, to look at the citations list of scholarly articles at the end of ALL the articles I’ve linked, you will find an amazing compendium of books that have been referenced.


Shall I continue? 

Because practically every single revolution good or bad flourishes under intense opposition.

By supporting this movement, you are supporting a incredibly questionable “charity”. A charity that totes guns around, posing with other militants while carrying rocket launchers. A charity where only 30% of the revenue go to actual relief work and where the net notable salary is 400% more than a normal charity. A charity that is so secretive and has so much to had that it has NEVER, EVER, let an official auditor examine them. A Charity that claims to fight a conflict in Uganda when it has ended 7 years ago. Thank you and please share and spread the knowledge.


6 - A final conclusion

My friend Yong Jun posted a beautiful, eloquent comment about the whole Kony situation, and with his permission, I am going to use it as my closing comment. (check him out at sevuolballare.weebly.com)

Wikipedia has, for such large pages, at least 50 reliable sources from universities and other acclaimed scholarly journals. I challenge you to find a page better cited. Wikipedia is unreliable for those tiny articles that about 5 people in the world is truly an expert about, and this again shows the bandwagon mentality of the inapt in thinking that Wikipedia cannot be trusted.

Was not the founding fathers of so many nations seen as such an evil being? Did the American founding fathers not slaughter, pillage and kill in order to create their Utopian society? Did Lenin not wage war against about 5 different armies and factions to reorganize Russia and improve its infrastructure and industry by a factor of 100 years? Did Mao not knock 50 years off China’s state as a dark vortex of doom?

Machiavelli said “Hence it comes about that all armed Prophets have been victorious, and all unarmed Prophets have been destroyed.” In a struggle for whatever ideal, sacrifices are inevitable, be it resources, wealth, a life or even entire armies. One that lives in a world that believes lives saved are always for the better is not only delusional but grossly misunderstands the workings of humanity.

Neither am I convinced that Kony is a Messiah for his people, alike to Mao or Lenin. However, the general ignorance at this topic, and the uproar it brought about is severely disheartening for one who sincerely wishes to love all humanity. 

This cesspool of ignorance cannot continue. I am for an opposition to Kony, as every thesis requires and will have an antithesis. Please, however, make it intelligent.


This was taken from the blog of a complete ass. To morally deface someone is complete bullshit. If you don't want to deal with it, ignore it. Or FIX it. Don't bash each other because of past problems.

theboywhospoketoomuch:

Dude. I understand that I’m probably coming out of this entire situation as an arse.. to which I probably am and I apologize to you and Balveen for that, but how would you propose I ‘fix’ it? Balveen hates me and as much as I’d appreciate a final conversation to apologize for everything before and fix things, I’d doubt it’ll ever happen. 

So yeah. I’m terribly sorry for everything said and done. I admit you have a valid point, and if I ever get the chance to apologize to Balveen, then I will. Just for the record though, she was one of the nicest people I’d met until things went sour. 

But for now, I hope the both of you can consider this a ‘somewhat’ formal apology, meager as it is… I do regret everything and I shall keep my distance. All the best to the both of you. 

Via From Violence to Sanity


Here’s a bunch of us. Mucking around. 


College Life so Far…..

I wore a skirt to college today. To which most people would end up shaking their heads and commenting on my apparent lack of mentality. 

But in all fairness, it was for a psychology experiment. If you take Challenge and Change with Ms. Shelly, you know what I mean. If not well… your expressions were priceless.. Thank you for the brief moments of humor. 

Oh and Balveen Hullon -

Thank you for your lovely comments, but to each his own I’ll say. More so, what you say doesn’t even matter to me. So yeap. Hope you enjoy your life. Cheerio. 


Balveen Hullon…. Sigh. Here we go again…

Well… for those of you who do not know me, or you have had the ‘pleasure’ of hearing about me from said girl above, here’s my side of the story, from the horse’s mouth if you may. So, where do I even begin? Right at the beginning! 

I met Balveen roughly a year ago at a tuition center. In no uncertain terms, Balveen announced that she liked me, or so I assume. We chatted on the phone, text messaged each other sporadically and occasionally skyped. So yeah. That’s kinda how things were until I asked her to be my girlfriend. Point blank, she accepted. 

So that was how things were come 2011. However, not everyone has their happy ending and I was not excepted from this theory. Things eventually grew awkward and soon the eventual split would occur. According to Balveen, although not directly, (she still refuses to speak to me..) I made the ever so grave error of… ignoring her when she was sick during tuition class. 

There you have it. In a ‘Balveenist’ sense or lens, that would probably make the lousiest boyfriend the world has ever seen right? That or so I assume. Maybe she just had the wrong impression of me, maybe I was just not good enough for her… No matter what, it was just time to end things. So yeah. I was dumped. Or liberated. You name it. That was what happened to me. 

Until today Balveen hates me and I doubt it will end soon. In all honesty, I don’t know what I did that was so wrong other than to ignore her. Even though I’m going out on a limb here and guessing that it must have been other than that exact reason. It’s to the extent that she slanders my name to everyone who knows me. Oh. Apparently, if you are my friend and you know Balveen too.. well. suffice to say, you might end up becoming hated. So yeah. It happened today. 8 friends. Going for lunch. With me. Somehow betrayed her. Just lunch. But I digress.

Ironically, she did post a text on her blog. I’m assuming she refers to the group of us that was there, but I may be wrong. Then again, knowing Balveen Hullon, nothing from her ever is totally clear. Well. From my point anyways. I’ll add her blog post. Kudos to you if you can explain it. 

Logging off. 

Joash Nicholas. 

______________________________________________________________________

Taken from  - http://thegirlwholaughedtoomuch.blogspot.com/

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2012

To kill.

This is a sensitive post. Read at your own risk, please.
I remember the pain of 2011 as if it were yesterday. One does not simply forget the hurt one goes through for six, seven, eight months in a matter of days, or weeks. It takes years. And it will, for me. 
I was suicidal. There, i said it. A term many will regard with shock, and weariness, perhaps even ridicule. It doesn’t change the truth. I frequently fantasized about taking my own life. I came close to it, more than once. I downed half a strip of pills before chickening out, going to sleep unsure if I would wake up in the morning. What was surprising, was that i was not scared. I closed my eyes that one night thinking that maybe, I might never have to see the faces of so many people I had disappointed, or was going to, or had disappointed me. It was relieving. What stopped me from taking anymore pills was the image of my mother’s face when she found my cold, frozen body in the morning. I drifted off to sleep conflicted.
That was the first time. There were many more instances after that. I would slide the tip of the blade over my wrist, hating myself for not having the strength to press a little harder. I would gaze at the light on my ceiling, working out in my head how many scarves I would have to tie together to make a rope long enough to hold me off the ground. 
The stage passed, slowly. The ending of high school had a lot to do with it. When you don’t have to see the people who hurt you everyday, the wound doesn’t stop bleeding, but it stops being ripped open repeatedly. 
However, I recovered from the depression to find that i was a different person. Gone was the confrontational, bold, antagonistic girl who would fight and defend to no end. In her place was a girl I swore I would never be - quiet, timid, the kind of person who lets you step all over her instead of standing up and telling you to stop. 
Yes, Balveen Hullon became that girl. She still is.
Which is exactly why I am going through so much pain now. I became the girl who was there for everyone. A plea for help never goes unanswered with me. Because I know what it’s like to be in pain. I know what it’s like to desperately want someone to answer when you’re screaming in your head. What happens when people take you for granted? You become the one person they assume will be there when they need you, never once thinking of being there for you when you need help. Now, people I thought were my friends have yet again decided that I am not good enough for them. It’s strange how I was good enough when you needed a little motivating, a little encouragement, a little advice. It’s strange how it’s easy to listen to the stories of my pain, and then pointedly put me through the same pain again. I am hurt, yes. By new people. For the second time in less than one year. Here’s a secret - it doesn’t get easier the second time around, even if this time you have a boyfriend pushing you up before you fall every step of the way.
Now here is a question - when you recover from thinking those thoughts, does that mean you are no longer suicidal? To me, I could be 45 and a world great magazine Editor-In-Chief, but I will always be the girl curled up in a corner of her room, cheeks streaked with tears, blade in hand. It made me who I am, and so it will always be there in the back of my mind. A swift alternative to a temporary problem.
This has been a tell-all post that may offend some people. It may initiate a string of rumours, it may even result in a lot of confrontations. But I’ve put the truth out there. This is what made me who i am today. A lot of pain, a lot of ignorance and a lot of thoughts - “To kill, or not to kill?”

I am patriotic let me tell you that! Well, I wouldn’t die for the country, but I’ll definitely die in Malaysia.

– Mom - Defending her patriotism.

School’s out - Scream And Shout!

And it’s here. Sweet Mary, after spending a ridiculous amount of time floating around in the Malaysian education system, it’s finally.. after a miserable 11 years, OVER. No more insanely redundant questions; no more stuffy uniforms; no more need for somewhat crappy meals at the tuck shop; and no more annoying teachers who sound like they jumped out of ‘The Nanny’. Praise The Lord. (Ignore my exuberance in religion - If you’ve never been to a local school here, well… lucky you.)

See? That's a real exam question.

And yet somehow, it seems to have grown on me. I’m already getting the feeling that while I head off to college come January 9th, I’m gonna reminisce like the old chap I am about these days gone past when the sight of a Math exam would reduce me to screaming abdabs. In a strange sense, it’s grew on me like the Harry Potter saga; that was my childhood there, but well, nuff said. Granted of course that I was never of any use in Math anyways. :P

But enough is enough. Here’s to that and off to college. Now, that reminds me to get about buying myself an iPad. 


British English vs Malaysian English

       

          It has become a rather common joke for me to be called ‘The Brit’ in class due to partly my time spent in the UK, and partly because I am an Anglophile by nature. I’d like to delude myself into believing the former, but as time goes by, I begin to infer that rather it is more of the latter than the former. And as of those who actually know me on a personal level, I do love certain aspects of   Malaysia. Almost as much as I love root canal surgery, marzipan, the smell of the rubbish truck and a few other things I deign not to mention. But hey! Despite me being ‘The Brit’ I must say that there is a benefit of being Malaysian that the English would probably turn their sharply beaked noses (that reminds me of someone I know!) upon us. Ha! Jealousy I say. What makes us truly special in the world is some thing native to only Malaysia. Ladies and gentlemen, it is not ‘Nasi Lemak’  nor ‘Durian’, but  I am referring to the one and only Manglish!

          Who says Malaysian English is atrocious? As I of all people should know, British English is rather lengthy and boring at times to listen to, while on the other hand, ours is simple, straight-forward and effective in getting the message across. Besides, the most widely used language in Asia is Manglish or it’s many cousins; Mr. Chinglish, Mr. Singlish, and who can forget Ms. Indlish? What the Glish family have in common is that it’s been cobbled out of major Asian tongues…….. Putting it mildly, Manglish is snappier than what we learn in our conventional English classes in school. For example:

 

RETURNING A CALL

Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who call?

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY

Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians:No-need pay, lah.

 

WHEN ENTERTAINING

Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don’t be shy, lah!

 

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION

Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you’re coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION

Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah we all!!

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG

Britons: This isn’t the way to do it, here let me show you,
Malaysians: like that also don’t know how to do!!!!

 

          Don’t you agree? Manglish is the greatest thing to have ever been invented in this country. Everyone from all walks of  society uses it. From kids, too teenagers to adults to tycoons. Even more so with our local Manglish professionals, namely our politicians. Such blatant display of professionalism is truly to be admired – which it is!

 However, In other words, Manglish is a form of bad English - not something that one would proudly list under “language skills” in one’s CV”

Is it truly a form of bad English? it should only be considered bad english if a person is attempting or intending to speak english, but does so poorly. However, in this case, we have relatively standard expressions that are commonly used by speakers, as shown in the table. Shouldn’t it be considered a dialect instead, albeit one with a bad reputation? In Malaysia, it is so widespread that perfect English speakers speak Manglish among fellow Malaysians. Why should it not be considered a Malaysian dialect of English, much like in other English speaking countries? Does the English spoken in Australia and America, littered with loanwords and slang, carry the same negative connotation as Manglish?  I shall leave at that for you dear readers to decide.

Yours Truly,

theboywhospoketoomuch


Early morning at the Clifton Suspension Bridge, Bristol. One shot I somehow managed to neglect on my camera. 

Early morning at the Clifton Suspension Bridge, Bristol. One shot I somehow managed to neglect on my camera. 


Graffiti is one of the few possessions you can always have when you have nothing. And even if you don’t come up with a picture to cure world poverty, cancer or something equally epic, you can probably make someone smile while they’re having a piss.

– Joash Ong

When we ask ourselves deep down which person in our life means the most to us, we often come to the realization that it is that who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. It is this person who can be silent with us in our moments of despair or confusion, in our moments of grief and bereavement without expecting anything whatsoever in return, who tolerates not knowing the cause of our problems and faces hand in hand with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is indeed a friend who truly cares.  This is my best friend. I can’t imagine life without her. (And just so you know, this was a totally candid picture.)


Domo-Kun. Very Scary Creatures.

Ladies and gentlemen, it has fallen to me to report on a new epidemic that has been unleashed upon our very existence. Yes, I am referring to the mass takeover of our very lives by the strangely adorable ‘Domo-Kun’. Girls, sisters, girlfriends, wives and even some males out there have become strangely enamored by this bear like creature with it’s black beady eyes, gaping maws and sharp teeth. Be warned people. Do not mistake these 2 by 4 creatures to be nothing but cuddly. They have already destroyed the lovable plushie that we once used to call ‘Spongebob Squarepants’. Remember him? The yellow dude who flipped burger patties for a living and had a squirrel as his best friend cum girlfriend? 

Yes, our lives are slowly being taken over by this annoyingly adorable beings from the land of the far east. As of now, as I type this, it is to my greatest grief to say that the Fourth Reich has indeed begun. Everywhere that you happen to traverse, they’ll be there, waiting. Domo Hitler and his merry band of squashy followers will be sitting on tables, in corners, on shelves and in window displays of supermarkets and souvenir shops, just waiting, to overthrow the male species by driving us into extinction and to infiltrate the hearts of the women we love. And they’ll do it no doubt. Ruthlessly while maintaining that innocent ‘Rawr!’ personality that makes women squeal. We are facing a tough adversary here men. This is our Battle Of Waterloo. Our Armageddon has arrived and this shall be the ultimate judgement we must overcome. The battle shall not be easy. But we must remain strong, steady, true and bold in the face of danger. If not, then all hope shall be lost.

The only defense we have however, in the face of such monstrous adversity like this is to employ the only hope that we have left against ‘Domo-Kun’ - Kittens! Yes, I can feel you laughing at the very notion of my apparent stupidity. By all means laugh as you wish at my warnings. But remember! When you are surrounded by these evil ‘Domo’s’, your loved ones are in mortal peril and all hope is lost, swallow your pride and unleash the kittens. God Save Us All. 


At a Halloween party last year.

Girl : Hi! I’m Emily Rose. Who are you?
Joash:Voilá! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.


Frisky Much?

 

I usually poke fun at the expense of Justin Bieber, not because I’m secretly jealous of that kid, I’ll admit, that kid has style (Well Duh! He got to hang out with Kim Kardashian for crying out loud!) but because he’s just so easy. And there’s Selena Gomez. Talented little singer that made ‘Another Cinderella Story’ border on porn. Don’t believe me? Watch the movie. She makes Andrew Seeley look like a pedophile. So what happens when the two of them get together? Stuff that would probably give most celebrity ‘home videos’ a run for their money’s worth. Millions of teenage girls worldwide gets their hearts broken. Paparazzi goes completely bananas. Then again, their nothing but blind less apes who entertain.

Which brings us to our current topic. Look at the picture. Closely. These kids are MINORS for crying out loud. If I was ever that frisky, my mother would probably lock me up in a stone tower for the rest of my virgin life. To which I’d have to grow my hair like poor Rapunzel and wait for a blond buxom babe to rescue me. Now that i wouldn’t mind though.  

Still, it does surprise me how much kids these days are acting like teenagers back then. Look at them, if this is what they’re like in public, imagine their life behind closed doors. Especially after the Victoria’s Secret spree! And oh my goodness, I’m beginning to sound like my old man. Enough said then.

But come to think of it JB, I hope you’re careful. If your faith says anything, I’d pretty much reckon this is how babies are made. Cause, you know, when a boy likes a girl…… Just make sure there’s a ring on her finger! And Selena, watch your back. The Beliebers are relentless. They’re watching. Always watching.


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